The FAT Website est. 1999
Has anyone else met Dan Rose’s sister? Oh my god! If there’s something that really gets to me, it’s music fan-boys (or girls in this case).
The kind of person who is mortified if someone’s music taste diverges from theirs (or in Cass’ case, she takes personal offence that I can’t guess the type of music she likes from the bangles that she wears). The kind of person that asks total strangers what band they like as if it was a matter of ethnic pride. You can kick them in the ass with impunity but don’t dare slam their favourite group! You can fuck their mother in the ass but woe unto you if you scratch their favourite record. No wonder music is their best friend – no one else is! I’d wish a rat would bite these people on the ass and give them the plague but they’d probably consider it a fashion statement.
So anyways, Cass then went on to pull all this clairvoyant shit on me and try and guess my ideal woman. I played along not knowing she was blind to sarcasm (slapping my cheek and remarking ‘Gosh! You are truly an all-knowing all-seeing Deity!’ passed right over her head).
So she proceeds to pick out my ideal woman (‘opinionated, not a Bimbo’) and then chastises me for liking the wrong Angel from Charlie’s Angels. I can say I have honestly never met anyone who passes judgement on a person based on their favourite character from a 70’s television show cum big budget summer movie.
Well let me predict an ideal man and future husband for Cass. Here he is:
Mr Cass Rose
